Breaking up with Addiction: a letter from a resident

UGM program resident Jessika wrote a “breaking up with addiction letter” and shared at the fall LIFE Recovery Phase Promotion. Women receiving treatment at UGM’s Center for Women & Children use this as a form of therapy to personify addiction, acknowledge the role it has played in their life, and voice their commitment to dismantle its hold.

Dear Addiction,

We met in 2021. You never left my side. You were my best friend even though I used you. When I was hurt, you made me not feel the pain. When I felt alone, you stood by my side. When I felt weak, at least I had you to turn to. When I was angry, I turned to you for support. You stuck by my side when I was pregnant, It made it easier to get up and to work with you alongside of me.

You made my life easy... well, I thought you did. But all that came with a price.

You have ruined everything I’ve ever wanted. You split my family apart, I lost everything. I thought you were my best friend, but true best friends look out for one another. They don’t take away someone’s children. Because of you, my children lost their dad to prison. Even though they haven’t lost their mom, they don’t get to see me every day—so yeah, in a way, you took their mom away. You made it where I depended on you for 3 years, so therefore you made it an unsafe environment. I lost relationships. I lost family. I lost everything. And you don’t care. Your goal is to tear people apart. Every time I tried to get away from you, something happened, like domestic violence. You whispered in my head, “Come home, I’ll save your life,” so I did. You might have saved me from abuse, but you stole my courage, you stole my faith, you stole my children, you stole my everything.

“You stole my courage, you stole my faith, you stole my children, you stole my everything.”

You lied to me.

You made me promises.

You told me if I stayed, I would start gaining my life back. So yes, I’m pissed off, I’m exhausted, I’m fed up. If you didn’t exist, I would have my kids home. If you didn’t keep coming back, I wouldn’t be missing so much of their lives. I wouldn’t have to listen to my kids scream three days a week, “Mama, don't go!” I am fighting so hard to fix the damage you created. So, it’s time we depart. I no longer need or want you a part of my life.

“You are banished from my life for good!”

Crystal Meth, I am officially breaking up with you.

Goodbye,

Jessika.

Jessika’s children are now living with her full time at the Center! We’re so happy for their recent reunion and ask that you join us in prayer for them during this key turning point in their life together. When you support UGM, you offer new beginnings for families in our region. Thank you.