“In my first hit, my soul was celled”: A poem by Alora

UGM's 18-month-long residential recovery program, LIFE Recovery, is designed to help residents find freedom from addiction and other destructive patterns by healing the wounds that underlie their hurtful choices. In addition to providing trauma therapy, new life skills, and a safe community, we teach the Good News that “if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed,” (John 8:36).

One common exercise in the process of finding freedom is writing a "farewell to addiction" letter, or, in Alora's case, a poem.

Goodbye to My Addiction

By Alora Ross

Even the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel.
To despise wisdom and instruction, I was a fool.

Her steps take hold of death, she is the way to hell.
In my first hit, my soul was celled.

I wanted to escape the tremendous pain I felt inside.
She did for a moment, but then the life around me also died.

Living moment to moment, high to high,
I kissed my future and my kids goodbye.

So the pain I had felt only got worse,
She plagued my life as if it were a curse.

I felt even more worthless and alone, broken and abandoned.
She stole everything from me and left me empty handed.

7 months clean, divorced and three kids later,
I’m saying goodbye, you can call me a traitor.

My life is finally getting back on track,
No longer living life devoted to the dope sack.

All that time wasted, all those years gone,
But I’m pushing forward and I’m pushing strong.
And I’m going to live life making right my wrong.

I’m learning my identity in who God made me to be.
And I’m so thankful to UGM teaching me to live life free.

Now I’ve been given testimony to tell all of you,
Only by God's mercy and grace is what got me through.
So goodbye to my addiction and the life I once knew.

His light has shined upon my face once again,
And my life is being made new in HIM!

Alora is in phase 1B of UGM Women's LIFE Recovery at the Center for Women and Children in Coeur d'Alene. She's relearning how to parent her children at the same time as courageously healing from her own trauma and addictions. The work she is doing may be one of the greatest challenges of her life, but it will be well worth it; she has learned to rely on the Lord with all her heart, mind, and strength, and she's gained a lifelong community of support. 

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