Hopelessness to Homelessness

By David Nicosia, UGM Men's Recovery participant

When I became homeless, there were so many feelings that led up to it. How stupid was I to allow myself to give up, quit jobs, drink too much the night before work, cheat on women who really loved me! How stupid I was to procrastinate on my bills, and feed myself alcohol and drugs instead of a home cooked meal! How did I get to be so dumb?

Why can't I remember that I had it so much worse as a child and how I had fought so hard to stay alive after I had run away from home! If I could only see how much of a success I became after all my childhood wounds. I've been able to get myself into a home of my own, have a car to drive, and food in my belly.

How dumb I felt when I decided that when things got hard I had to turn to drugs and alcohol, over and over again! I would repeat the same routine, get up and fall down.

I believe now that all of us homeless have very similar backgrounds; we all come from broken homes, and then continue to break every home we ever have, and we just give up! We begin to accept that we could never change, we could never be loved, and no one wants us!

And before we know it, feeling stupid and dumb turns into hopelessness, then homelessness. Then we spiral into the depths of Hell on Earth and begin to only hear the screams of madness we create within our minds, bringing us into a trapped mental prison that some may never break free from.

Or God appears to us - at least those of us who haven't let the screams drown Him out! And then my friends, there's hope.

From love and relationship addict to finding love for myself through God.

Hope can start with a meal. Give hope by providing food for someone homeless.