The Father I Found: Pat’s Story of Redemption

At eight years old, Pat’s mom would share a beer with him. “Instantly, I was addicted.” At thirteen, drug and alcohol abuse became a constant. “My father was an alcoholic. He took his own life when I was ten, so I didn’t have a positive male role model growing up. From ten years old on, I took my manhood into my own hands, so to speak.” From such a young age, Pat took on the pressure of being the “man of the house.” “At a young age, I didn’t realize that, but now that I’m an adult, with all the counseling I’ve been through, I realize, you don’t put that kind of pressure on a child.”

“I think my main problem all of my life is not having a positive male role model... no kind of supervision or support.”

He believed he had to teach himself to be a man by getting in fights at school, acquiring tattoos, and being okay with being incarcerated. “I thought that’s what a man did... what he was supposed to be.” To Pat, that’s how his identity was expressed. “I know now that’s not the case… I think my main problem all of my life is not having a positive male role model... no kind of supervision or support.”

He never had God in his life before UGM. He did not grow up going to church and never talked to God. He was estranged from his family because of his drug abuse. In 2016, Pat had gone to a detox center in Spokane. He found himself walking down the railroad tracks in the pouring rain and saw the UGM sign. He went into the Men’s Shelter and connected with Joe Marsh, UGM Case Management Coordinator. In his time at UGM, he received a call saying that his sister had had a double mastectomy due to breast cancer. Pat went to the chapel and prayed to God. “I had the biggest body rush... the Holy Spirit was just filling me, basically telling me, ‘I am here. I’ve always been here. Now, you’ve found me.’ That changed my life.”

He entered UGM’s Life Recovery program but relapsed and returned to his hometown in Walla Walla. After a failed marriage, he lost his job and moved in with someone who was a severe alcoholic. “I had never been so bad. And all those years I was in contact with Joe Marsh, and he brought me back.” Pat returned to UGM and eventually completed the recovery program. “When I feel like I don’t need Him, that’s when my life turns to shambles… When I knelt in the chapel [that day], I prayed for my sister and  I told God, ‘I will follow you for the rest of my days.’ [God] granted what I asked for, but then I saw drugs and alcohol as more important, and I walked away [from Him].” He expresses his gratitude for God’s grace as He patiently, lovingly waits for us and draws us near. “When I go back, He’s like, ‘I’ve been waiting for you. I’m right here.’ And I’m back home.” Five years ago, Pat commonly used strong language, but now he can’t curse without being convicted. He experiences accountability from the Holy Spirit, something he never had from anyone. “I had no conscience—the way I treated people—because I didn’t care. [Now], the Holy Spirit puts me in my place.”

“When I feel like I don’t need Him, that’s when my life turns to shambles.”

Pat recognizes God as that father figure he always needed; He had always been there, but when Pat was younger, he believed it was his own hard work and effort that made things happen. Before, he would have called everything in life a coincidence, but now he realizes it was God working all along.

“There is something about this community and the people that work at UGM and the donors. I’ve never seen it before, just how caring Spokane and the Christian community are for helping people like us. You get guys that come in, we get clean and fed and talk about Jesus. It changes them, even if it’s only for a week or two. It plants that seed in their head. They might remember something we said, and they come back because they know this place is safe.” Pat shares that he has never encountered authentic men like those at the Men’s Shelter, nor has he experienced genuine, deep conversations between men that went beyond the surface level. After speaking with a volunteer, he felt a sense of freedom to express his emotions through tears and was assured, “It’s okay. This is how real men talk.” Pat’s life has been forever impacted by the encounter he had with God at UGM. He was recently hired as an RA (Resident Assistant) and now gets to plant seeds for other men who walk in the door at the Men’s Shelter. He greatly enjoys interacting with the men that go in and out of the shelter. Pat says he had never had man-to-man conversations that weren’t superficial until he came to UGM. “My first was with Rick in day labor, and I was so uncomfortable and I started to cry, which was out of character for me. He said, ‘It’s okay. This is how real men talk.’”