Brave Enough to Take that First Step

What would you say to someone living on the streets or deep in addiction? Finding the right words can be tough unless you’ve been there. For the past three years, our fall campaign has featured former UGM residents like Tod sharing words of hope with those in despair, starting with their own moments of hopelessness.

In 2012, I was nearing the end of a divorce and almost lost my job. I’d go without drinking for long periods, then disappear for days. My boss urged me to get help, and my loved ones insisted I go to Union Gospel Mission, saying, “We don’t know who you are. This isn’t working.”

Before I knew it, I’d been at UGM for weeks, focusing on my daily chore. I thought, if I’m going to wash dishes for two hours, I’ll do it to the best of my ability. There wasn’t a budget to hire me as staff, but I switched to the food coolers for more hours. Although I didn’t pursue UGM’s programs, I was grateful to be a guest in the supportive environment of the Men’s Shelter.

When an Employment Training Opportunity opened to manage the warehouse and food coolers, I couldn’t say yes fast enough, even though it meant earning less than my previous job. My family didn’t understand and my former boss kept asking me to return, but I wasn’t ready to leave the safety of UGM. I felt like I needed to stay, focusing on God and learning how to live a healthy lifestyle. Soon after, UGM discovered my painting skills and offered me a position in Maintenance.

“I felt like I needed to stay, focusing on God and learning how to live a healthy lifestyle.”

Now, I’ve been sober for 11 or 12 years. When asked if I’m in recovery, I say no—I've been healed. I can be around alcohol without being triggered, but I live my life in a very specific way. Humility and accountability are essential. I have a responsibility to God, my wife, and my three daughters.

Because of alcoholism, nothing is off the books to talk about in our family; my daughters tell me almost everything. Currently, I’m the Maintenance Technician at Women’s Recovery—Spokane. This job is where my heart is because I’m a dad of daughters and have amazing women in my life. I care about the women living at UGM and understand the journey they’re on.

“When asked if I’m in recovery, I say no—I’ve been healed.”

Looking back on my past literally hurts sometimes, but it reminds me how far I’ve come. My motto is to live better than I did yesterday. In the depths of my addiction, there was no love in me; it was all darkness. My family missed me.

Today, I love my life, my family, God, and my job. That first step was the best I’ve ever taken. If you’re struggling, know your loved ones miss you—be brave enough to take that first step.

Click the button below to hear more stories from people like Tod who have found healing.