Dear Son: an Open Letter

Recently, a friend shared this letter with us. She wrote it to her son, who is struggling with addiction, but has hesitated to give it to him. "It was more therapy for me than meant for him at this point. I think he has to have some clean time to get the meaning...So I have saved the letter to send to him when he enters treatment, whatever that might look like." The name has been changed as the writer wishes to remain anonymous.

Dear Mark,

Where do I start? I love you…I know you know that. If you don’t, then my heart is more than broken.

I know the pain you live in. I may not have walked in your shoes, but I understand desperation and the horrible things it causes a person to do.

I do not judge you. I never have. I only continued to love you, even as you pushed me away.

Ever since you were 14, I have watched you struggle with the demons that haunt you. All the while, the dark clouds come and relationships break down. Homelessness, chaos and loneliness fill your world.

Yes, Mark, I do understand!  It’s because I understand your pain that I ache the most.

I get it! Life hurts. I will continue to love you regardless of what you do. Nothing changes that.

I'm saddened by the life you are living, but even beyond that, I imagine the life you could have, and I am heartbroken at what you are missing.

I stopped trying to contact you, not because I stopped caring, but because I had to stop the self-inflicted pain.

You are my blue-eyed angel. The first time I looked into those beautiful eyes, I was in love. You had me wrapped around your little finger.

But circumstances grew bad, and your father took you from me. I have prayed and ached for the day you would return to me.

Please son, return to me. Don’t let dope take you away from your life and those who love you, anymore. Find the strength to battle your demons!

Love, Mom

Addiction is painful. To learn about recognizing the signs of addiction, click below.