That's Unconditional Love

By Merrily Brast, Staff Writer

Love—it’s what each of us desire and search for. Unwavering, faithful, unconditional love. Rachel Haynes sought it in the past, but was disappointed.

“I was trying to fill what was missing, a love and belonging missing piece in my life. I felt like the only way I could live is if I had a guy there with me, and if I didn’t, well, I didn’t want to find out who I was on my own because that’s probably a scary thing.”

Instead of finding unconditional love, she entered into relationship addiction, substance abuse, and domestic violence including a marriage that ended due to mental, emotional, and physical abuse.

"That’s where God wants you to be, He wants you to be broken and raw."

After the marriage ended, depression, heavy drinking, and unemployment landed her in detox, where she moved toward sobriety and decided she wanted more in life.

“I’ve been learning all sin leads to death, and that’s where I was at. But that’s where God wants you to be, He wants you to be broken and raw, and like, ‘Help me! I don’t know what to do anymore.’ And that’s how it was.”

In the midst of pain and brokenness, she found Jesus in the words of a Chris Tomlin song, “Jesus, He loves me. He loves me, He is for me. Jesus, how can it be? He loves me, He is for me.”

Nonetheless, love, especially unhealthy love, is difficult to get over and easy to fall back in to.

“Satan will put a thought in my mind that maybe things will work out between you now, maybe he’s changed. Maybe you’re sober, and you being sober will make the relationship better—you’ve had time apart. Just one little thought in your head. But if you keep dwelling on that one little thought, it grows every day.”